Flatulence filter seat cushion...

...for absorbing sound and attenuation from an anal discharge of a seated individual! Gosh darn-nit! I was just performing a casual browse of the Google Patent search, and came across this. Why couldn't I think of that!

Here is the patent.

Here is the story.

Pug Party

No MOre Trash weekend

Today was our first No MOre Trash pickup day. Doing something like this makes you more 'trash-wise', as D found out; that just because the bottle says Pepsi on it,... doesn't necessarily mean that's what's in the bottle! Pepsi is usually darker and not the pee color as shown in his photograph above! I won't tell you if he actually smelled it or not to be certain! He was also the lucky finder of a dollar bill. We (M, D, A, D, J, E) picked up mostly beer cans and plastic bottles. It took us around 3 hours to clean a 2 mile stretch. That included 16 trash bags, 2 buckets, and a street sign in our inventory for the day. We ended up by Kaity's Pizza, and the owner asked us what we were doing, and we explained. He was very gracious and ended up giving us our lunch for free! That was great, and I think the kids got a better feeling for why we were volunteering our time and what it means to volunteer!

We spent the rest of the evening over at D's mom's house. Her Grandma was in town from Marble Falls, TX. It was good to see them. I met them for the first time last year when I had a conference in San Antonio. D and I both went, and were able to spend a day with them. Tom is married to her Grandma, and he is retired and works for a ranch. Her Grandma is a postal delivery driver.

Now, I'm about ready to collapse! It was a great weekend; but I'm darn tired! Till next time.

United States inept, in-debt, and, [arghhhh!!!]

I don't care if it's Bush or Clinton, Bush or Regan. The pres of the day gets the rap. WBush has had plenty of that lately. Don't the Americans remember the change they asked for in 2006? America voted, and we got it. Remember that Congress makes the law, not the President.

So what's up with all the country complaining and Bush bashing!

I don't normally get all political, and what I say below may be the basis for a great junk chain letter. But that's what I got. Read this thoroughly. Link to the sources are included. I'm doing my part... my 2 cents, and remember to vote, will ya?

Taxes...Whether Democrat or a Republican you will find these statistics enlightening and amazing.
www.taxfoundation.org/publications/show/151.html
Taxes under Clinton 1999 Taxes under Bush 2008
Single making 30K - tax $8,400 Single making 30K - tax $4,500
Single making 50K - tax $14,000 Single making 50K - tax $12,500
Single making 75K - tax $23,250 Single making 75K - tax $18,750
Married making 60K - tax $16,800 Married making 60K- tax $9,000
Married making 75K - tax $21,000 Married making 75K - tax $18,750
Married making 125K - tax $38,750 Married making 125K - tax $31,250

Both democratic candidates will return to the higher tax rates. It is amazing how many people that fall into the categories above think Bush is screwing them and Bill Clinton was the greatest President ever. If Obama or Hillary are elected, they both say they will repeal the Bush tax cuts and a good portion of the people that fall into the categories above can't wait for it to happen. This is like the movie The Sting with Paul Newman; you scam somebody out of some money and they don't even know what happened.

You think the war in Iraq is costing us too much? Maybe so, but what about immigration?

1. $11 Billion to $22 billion is spent on welfare to illegal aliens each year by state governments.
Verify at: http://tinyurl.com/zob77

2. $2.2 Billion dollars a year is spent on food assistance programs such as food stamps, WIC, and free school lunches for illegal aliens.
Verify at: http://www.cis.org/articles/2004/fiscalexec.html

3. $2.5 Billion dollars a year is spent on Medicaid for illegal aliens.
Verify at: http://www.cis..org/articles/2004/fiscalexec.html

4. $12 Billion dollars a year is spent on primary and secondary school education for children here illegally and they cannot speak a word of English!
Verify at: http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.0.html

5. $17 Billion dollars a year is spent for education for the American-born children of illegal aliens, known as anchor babies.
Verify at http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.01.html

6. $3 Million Dollars a DAY is spent to incarcerate illegal aliens.
Verify at: http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.01.html

7. 30% percent of all Federal Prison inmates are illegal aliens.
Verify at: http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.01.html

8. $90 Billion Dollars a year is spent on illegal aliens for Welfare & social services by the American taxpayers.
Verify at: http://premium.cnn.com/TRANSCIPTS/0610/29/ldt.01.html

9. $200 Billion Dollars a year in suppressed American wages are caused by the illegal aliens.
Verify at: http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0604/01/ldt.01.html

10. The illegal aliens in the United States have a crime rate that's two and a half times that of white non-illegal aliens. In particular, their children, are going to make a huge additional crime problem in the US.
Verify at: http://transcripts.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0606/12/ldt.01.html

11. During the year of 2005 there were 4 to 10 MILLION illegal aliens that crossed our Southern Border also, as many as 19,500 illegal aliens from Terrorist Countries. Millions of pounds of drugs, cocaine, meth, heroin and marijuana, crossed into the U. S from the Southern border.
Verify at: Homeland Security Report: http://tinyurl.com/t9sht

12. The National Policy Institute, 'estimated that the total cost of mass deportation would be between $206 and $230 billion or an average cost of between $41 and $46 billion annually over a five year period.'
Verify at: http://www.nationalpolicyinstitute.org/pdf/deportation.pdf

13. In 2006 illegal aliens sent home $45 BILLION in remittances back to their countries of origin.
Verify at: http://www.rense.com/general75/niht.htm

14. 'The Dark Side of Illegal Immigration: Nearly One Million Sex Crimes Committed by Illegal Immigrants In The United States .'
Verify at: http://www.drdsk.com/articleshtml

The total cost is a whopping $ 338.3 BILLION DOLLARS A YEAR

Dad took away my blog, so...

Delmar demands corndogs. A message from da pug.

A great weekend

No no no no!!! Another great weekend is coming to an end! D and I were kidless this weekend. Saturday we worked on the boat. Dad came over to help and we were able to get the main portion of the floor riveted on.

Saturday we took a ride across 58-Hwy all the way to Kingsville, MO, home of the great Stahl Foundry. It's one of the largest permanent mold aluminum foundries in the country.

We then went back through Harrisonville and we stopped by a cemetery that is of all placed, right off of 291 North, just about 1 mile north of Harrisonville. I've seen it there many times, but it's hard to see. If you blink you will miss it.

View Larger Map

And when I say it's right off the road, I'm mean it's right there! I'm surprised a car hasn't veered off the road plowing down the only two tombstones that stand!

Mr Harris and his wife are here. I figured he was the founder of Harrisonville or something, but after a quick Google, I found out he was appointed as town commissioner on April 8, 1837. That's all it says about him.

After picking up the kids, we ate, and then went to the Park. A and I walked the dogs, and D and J played catch and ball.

Hopefully the weather cooperates through next weekend. We have a road cleanup / trash pickup scheduled for next weekend. Our FIRST ONE!

Is Jesus leaving America?

Well... this is interesting. The Pope came to Washington yesterday. He was given the red carpet treatment by President Bush..., had the Lord's Prayer sung at his welcoming ceremony. Over 9000 guests were invited. And Bush gave quite the emotional presidential welcome. At the same time, a federal judge in a Louisiana courthouse rules it's unconstitutional to have a Jesus painting in the Foyer of a Louisiana Courthouse! He rules in favor of the civil libertarians and awarded them damages plus attorneys fees and court costs!

Now I'm not putting Pope Benedict at even with Jesus, but irony just wreaks from this story.

Now my lesson:

In the Beginning, God created us so he could love us. Unfortunately, we have not loved Him in return.

We fail to acknowledge Him as our Father, as well as actively rebel against him. Through many immoral and dishonorable acts, thoughts and attitudes, we continue to upset the One Who cares for us most. You don’t have to be Christian for God to love you. You can spit in his face, and he will continue to weep love for you. Almost everyday we spit, we curse, and almost willingly and knowingly ignore His Friendship. We continue to drive the spikes deeper and deeper; each and every one of us, every day of every hour. His love is beyond friendship. How can we expect to make friends with each other here on earth when we can’t even respect the one who loves us most?

It's raining today... God's crying. Go ahead... Spit in God's face. He still loves you.

The Geefle and the Gonk...

I feel like the Gonk today. This is my favorite Sesame Street clip. Peaches made me think of nectarines. I vote we call it Shirley. Enjoy!

If it were only that simple...

If it were only as simple as people listening to me; this world would surly be a better place. I have answers for everything, and my in-depth knowledge of the universe plays a key role in my teaching. It's very evident from my blogs. Besides, people like me. Me and my. I am me. Are you con-fuzed yet?

Take for example my knowledge of peaches. I know everything there is to know about peaches. Did you know that peaches originally came from Istanbul (or was it Constantinople... Hmmm... I get them confused.)? Regardless, that's not important.

I'm sure at this point you're not any less cornfuzed. This post is really my safety lesson for the month. Don't fall for the trap. Slight of hand and mystery marvel is at play and work throughout your life. Twist of words and position of phrases can doom the ignorant and gullible fool.

How does this relate to my knowledge of Peaches?

It doesn't.

4011 - The answer...

Do you know what this is? Take a guess! ... I bet you guessed wrong (unless of course you are family). If you guessed 4011 as in, "Four-Thousand and Eleven"; then you would be wrong. If you guessed, "Four - Zero - One - One"; wrong again. This, my friends, is the number of all numbers. It is the answer that answers all questions involving time or amount.

It's just so simple that it's ridiculously crazy! My friend, you are looking at "Fourtyeleven". HA! You don't get it??? Click here for a sound bite sample. That's right. 4011. Fortyeleven. It's the most awesome number around.

For example. Do your children excessively ask you what time it is? Simply answer 4011. Don't understand? Take a listen by clicking here!!!

How about the old, "How much does this cost?", number... Listen here!

4011 is the answer to all those questions! It makes sense, it's being honest, and children love to know that 4011 is such a common answer!

My dad taught me 4011 many many years ago. And now I find that I'm teaching my children the same thing! It's great to teach the generations of children about 4011. Be proud, and exclaim 4011 loudly! Your kids will praise and love you for it!

See you in 4011!

Rain, snow, no,... sun!

Okay, this has been a very weird week. Last weekend at this time, it was beautiful, sunny, and getting warm. Now the forecast for Saturday is SNOW! Don't get me wrong, I love the snow. But I was almost sure old-man-winter was gone for the year.

My stupid allergies started acting up over the week. I was in Pittsburgh Tuesday and Wednesday. Thank goodness I took a Southwest flight. Poor American Airlines passengers! Over 100,000+ (edit on 4/12/2008 - make that 250,000+ ) stranded this week because of FAA regulatory inspections.

The week went fast even though. E has hockey practice tomorrow, and then we are going to party it up at Moms for her belated birthday! yeah!! Mom loves Birthday parties. I think she told me one time that birthdays are her favorite time! Looks like everyone in the fam is going to make it too! I can't wait. I'll be grilling hamburgers in the snow!

Till next time!

Child Abuse and Neglect...

April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month. You guessed what's next... the gruesome statistics... A child abuse case is reported every 10 seconds! And 4 children die a day due to child abuse.

There are a lot more statistics out there, and a quick Google search will engulf you with more than you want to know. My sole purpose of this post is to state the obvious; go back to basics...

I'm a father to 4 wonderful children, and it's hard to imagine that three quarters of all reported cases are due to parents as the perpetrators!

Every child has the right to live a life free from abuse or neglect. It's every parents responsibility to ensure that right for our children. What exactly does this mean?

Although it may seem subtle, every action we as parental adults exhibit have a direct or indirect effect on our children. It's called our "upbringing" and it's what many children later in adult life blame on their problems or current situations.

What my children call "unfair" now, is what I hope they call "parental love" when they get to be my age.

We won’t be there for our kids 100% of the time, to shelter them like we would want. But we need to instill and pass our values to our children while they are children. It's what is required from us. We won’t ever have 100% control of who interacts with our children. The values we pass down to our children will let them make a [moral] decision on the matters that present themselves later in life. It will have a direct or indirect effect on the way they interact with their own children.

I know of people that consider "sheltering" a means of controlling ones own selfish desires. People want others to think for themselves. It’s easy to say, "I’ll let her make her own decision, it’s her life anyway; she will make mistakes, and determine herself if her thinking is correct". Well, that’s not necessarily being a parent. Sure it’s correct to some extent, but not until after we have given our children the necessary instruction while they grow up. Children are children, and they need our guidance (as they soak it like a sponge at an early age). After they marry and part from their parents, we break a major part of the parental tie. Sure you will always be there to help them through their lifelong struggles, but at that point, they will hopefully carry on the same sense of judgment that we tried so hard to instill.

The Cass County Community Health Assessment Resource Team (CHART) is doing their part by starting an initiative that is set to asses and plan for prevention of child abuse and neglect within the area.

CHART will be conducting a survey of residents, through different venues, regarding the responder’s perception of the problem in Cass County.

The survey also solicits input from survey participants about how to address the issue. It is a one page, 11 question document designed to be taken in less than 10 minutes. Those living and/or working in Cass County are eligible to complete the survey. Those interested can find the survey here.

Land of Delmar... reighn doth he...

The mighty Delmaro stand guard over his land and sea. Free to roam and free to be. He showth no sign of backing though backward.

Anyway, it was an awesome weekend! D and I spent Saturday at Truman Lake.

I was able to mow the lawn as well, as the grass in the back was quite tall. I'm pretty sure that old-man-winter is gone until next season. I just hope that we get a little time to enjoy the weather without using the heater or air conditioner too much. My thermometer showed 70 degrees today (although it was in direct sunlight). I think it was more like 65 or so.

I was able to work a little bit on the boat as well. Truman lake must of had over 100 fishing boats on it this week. Here are a few more pictures taken on the other side of Truman dam.

Joe's favorite farm animal

Usually I'm pretty critical about what the teachers are teaching our kids these days. After a few moments I realized that I would have put the same thing...

April Fool Friendship Day

Okay... today is April fools; and one of my friends got me good. In fact... her cubical was all messed up this morning by someone else for April fools day. She immediately thought I did it (honest I didn't) and totally ransacked my office at lunch. Truly the joke is on me. Anyway... it's also international friendship day. The following posts from today discuss my thoughts on the subject...

Friendship stuff goes here...

So, what exactly makes a person who they are? Our conscience, confidence, thoughts, appearance, and actions all play an important roll in who we are and how we keep our friendship with others. You have thought about it right? What makes your friend your friend? How and where do your answers fall within each of the above words? Each one of us is unique but precisely designed. As an individual, we each have our own individuality that makes us all different. Tear a piece of paper in half. Go ahead – have fun. Now that you have relieved a little aggression, study the torn edge of each piece of paper. Notice that each edge of the paper will have some large and some minute differences from the other piece of paper that you tore. Those edges represent your traits. But when held next to each other, with the torn edge facing, they are a mirror image of each other. The difference in the first side of the paper compliments the imperfection found in the other side of the paper. Just like us humans, our unique individuality compliments our friends own unique being-ness and vise versa. Friendship by design works in this way.

The dictionary defines Friendship as follows:

Friend
1. A person whom one knows, likes and trusts.
2. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; comrade.
3. One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group.
4. An acquaintance.

The dictionary makes one "small" omission though. It doesn't speak of the years that a friendship endures. The laughter that fills the air when friends are together, the support, understanding and comfort a friend can offer or the anguish you cannot escape from when a friend is moving or even worse, dying. The dictionary cannot begin to define the word ‘Friend’. This is what makes friendship so much more.

So then what is this magic called Friendship? Is there a magic wand that silently transforms you and those special people on a journey into, what sometimes can be a lifelong relationship?

Is it mutual admiration, common interests, the need to be a friend? Or is it just an enduring tie that bonds you together, allows you to almost think as one and gives you one of life’s greatest joys.

Now, your idea of a good friend is still the person who gives you the better of the two choices. Holds your hand when you're scared. Helps you fight off those who try to take advantage of you. Thinks of you at times when you are not there. Reminds you of what you have forgotten. Helps you put the past behind you but understands when you need to hold on to it a little longer. Stays with you so that you have confidence. Goes out of their way to make time for you. Helps you clear up your mistakes. Helps you deal with pressure from others. Smiles for you when they are sad. Helps you become a better person. However most importantly loves you!

Notice how friendship is just like the two sides of the torn piece of paper. One compliments the other. When one is sad, the other fits in your void, and somehow makes you better. Where confidence lacks, they provide your encouragement.

Volumes could be filled to explain what friendship means. And I believe that it means something different for each of us. But at its core, you find the differences that compliment one another. Just like a puzzle, each piece holds another piece,… its friends. Each individually unique, but similar through friendship.

Subservient, spineless, opinionless, and silent

The above words are used in a song written by Alanis Morissette. They are used to describe how she would change herself to befriend and be accepted by another individual. The pieces of the puzzle don’t match, but a definite attraction exists. Can we be true friends when the pieces of the puzzle or edges of the paper don’t match? Well a true friendship doesn’t require one to change ones own self. It’s like trying to push a square block through a circular opening. Yes, you might be able to get a corner through at the very least, but you won’t effortlessly slide on through.

What is this attraction that can effect so many? Does it go back to our morals and ones self conscience? Is it a physical or sexual attraction that drives us to be so close to so many? Sure, once in a while the possibility exists that this type of attraction is going to somehow oddly work. That is a rare and hard to explain exception. It’s so very hard to change ones self. Again, the result of your early enculturation is a hard shell to crack out of. It’s almost impossible to accomplish. Yet so many individuals are willing to change their self to make friends with another. Is it possible that we are seeing this theory in practice with the increased divorce rate of today? Does it prove the butterfly effect correct? Our actions, no matter how small today can affect the outcome of a lasting friendship? I think so.

Think about your friends and what makes them your friends. Friends don’t change for one another, and that’s one of the best things about a friendship. No matter what one or the other is going through, the least you can expect out of a friend is their consistency. Trying to change yourself can be compared to a stretched rubber band. It’s going to snap back at some point, and when it does, you will be lost! It’s not that hard for someone to try and change their selves. Keep this in mind, and let your friends know when they aren’t themselves. Snap them back and do what friends do best… be their friend.

Comfort of friends...

Friends listen, friends love, friends watch, friends stay, friends are gentle, friends comfort, friends laugh, friends know, friends understand, friends smile, friends cry, friends play, friends run wild, friends help, friends believe, friends trust, friends hug, friends overlook, friends comprehend, friends feel affection for, friends hold, friends make silence, friends keep secrets, friends dream, friends.

Hopefully you don't see this as a Stuart Smalley Affirmations post. Because this is better than that, doggonit...

How can the friendship bond be so strong and involve so much? What is the magic tie between friends? We were instilled with the beautiful power of console and are able to give strength to each other. The great power in human touch begins early in life with the profound effects of a mother’s cradling her newborn child. We have yet to fully appreciate the impact of nine months of pregnancy on a child’s development, however, it is abundantly clear that the loving touch of parents helps a child develop safety and confidence, and the ability to in turn love and touch others.

We could have been created completely self-dependent, without the need for human affirmation, but then we would not be part of creating the magic of "love", that great power we generate when we synergize, and empower each other.

So, remember that every time you interact with another person: You have the unique ability to empower him or her. Every time. When you touch one person you touch a universe. And finally, to touch another is to touch God!